An Overused Word

Struggle.


In many Christian cultures, this word is used incessantly. "I struggle to know how to respond to you," or "I struggle with the passage," or "I struggle with this [insert sin here]."

Dear God. Are you climbing Mt. Everest? Are you struggling to pay your bills? Do you have actual social anxieties and not know how to interact with people comfortably? Regarding the examples, Is this passage actually and truly upsetting you, or everything you thought you believed? Are you really tossing and turning in your bed over a "sin" you can't seem to "get rid of?"

If not, please choose a different, less dramatic word. Struggle is a good word. It denotes something strenuous, difficult, challenging, upsetting. It is not a filler word, nor a nice-izing word. For example, you might just want to say to someone, "F off," but you don't want to seem mean, sound mean, or hurt someone's feelings; therefore, you "struggle" to find the right thing to say, the good and nice thing to say. After all, "struggling" does sound difficult, and it does make it sound like you care, and maybe you do, but if you aren't actually struggling (and I don't know how to measure what actual struggle is), then simply say, "I don't know what to say to you right now," or "I'm confused."

I've been in so many small groups, chapels, churches, and other Christian settings, and heard of so many people's "struggles" that I cannot possibly believe all of these people are actually struggling. I think there are real people who are actually struggling who just look like idiots saying so when everyone else seems to be, too.*
I do not mean that a shopaholic's shopping fast is not a struggle, nor am I saying to compare him to that token starving child in Africa; what I am saying, however, is to look around you and gain some perspective. Catch yourself when you use the word "struggle" and ask yourself if struggle is what you really mean.

*Example:

A) My wife hasn't spoken to me in a month. We've been fighting for a year. Our children seem to be affected, but we don't know how to stop, and I don't know if we even want to, except for the sake of our children. It's really difficult, a real struggle.

B) Yeah, man. I know what you mean. Aren't marriages a struggle? I mean, last night I forgot to put the mayonnaise away and my wife got mad. It's really difficult, huh?


Really?